Today is the first chilly day of fall, which makes me want to snuggle with my honey and drink a latte. I feel scattered, distracted, as though the items on my to-do lists have grown voices and faces and are throwing objects angrily into my brain, clamoring for my attention. The saying goes: “When the going gets tough, the tough get going” – but I really just want a nap. Either I’m not tough or just not energetic or a perplexed mix of both.
I’m stuck in the middle of realized dreams and still-hoped-for ones – knowing that I have to get my butt in gear and also trying to relish my moments of Sabbath and silence. I care deeply about big, whole-world things, and then get excited about a really cute on-sale dress at Kohl’s. I love being a hostess, but sometimes I just don’t get other people and need them to all go away and be quiet.
How I do I find a balance between accomplishment and fulfillment? When am I OK with where and who I am, and when do I need to keep pushing on?
I don’t have a practical answer for you. Just wanted to give you a virtual hug and remind you that I love you.
You are TOUGH.
Sometimes I feel SO alone in those SAME issues.. I want to curl up in a ball or plug my ears “la la la la”.. but then I read a couple different blogs (including yours!) and I realize that NONE of us are alone.. we are all walking along a similar road.. and even if we don’t have all the answers, at least we are “in this” together.
Love you.
Sorry I only keep in touch with you through blog comments.. But, I hope it’s a little reminder every once in a while that I think about you all the time and I am over here in AZ rooting for you! <3
I’m with ya…definitely stuck in the middle lately. So many things in my life are lovely…and yet I yearn for so much more. And I’m trying to balance solitude with real community…which is tough.
I don’t have any answers either. But I love you, Dani Lin, and I believe in you.