Remember yesterday, when I feeling all pretty and happy and loved and caffienated?
Yeah. Well, I guess I have those days to make up for days like today. The unicorns and the rainbows have left, and I guess I’ll go too, before I make all of you sad or say something really dreary and lame.
Sorry for the droopy nature of this post. All will be well soon, I am sure I just need a good cry or a good tan or a good Diet Coke.
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The Facebook Political Argument Person, aka FPAP.
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We went to Santa Barbara this weekend for a getaway, and my husband spoiled me with a new top. My hair is curly but actually controlled, I’m wearing earrings and my new top, and I feel pretty, happy and alive. I love this feeling, and I wonder sometimes why I let it slip away. Why don’t I strive more for beauty, in my home and life and self?
Most of the time, I’m just lazy. I slip out of pretty because I don’t use my God-given wisdom and grace. Sure, I struggle with flab, with acne (my face still thinks I’m 13) with the normal woes of being a woman in the competitive culture of the OC.
But I too often give in when I should fight for Beauty. It is a struggle. Sometimes I even gloss over this, our undeniably beautiful view from the park below our house.
But there is beauty in other things, too, that is equally worth fighting for. There is beauty in smiles and laughter, in friendship, in knowing one another deeply. There is beauty in being comfortable with where I am and how I look, even, with not constantly questioning my body type or comparing myself to other women (those people with amazing things called “hips” how I envy you!).
See? I did it again. It’s so prevalent, so easy to slip away from an attitude of thankfulness and into strife about how I wish I was. The truth is, I’m not supermodel, but I’m working to embrace the things I can be. I want to see beauty in everything – in Adam’s and my inside-jokes, in our church-family, in our “real” families, in our friends and our sunshiney days and our days of fog and bluster. In Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert asserts that true beauty is the only thing that is incorruptable, and I think I agree with her.
Today, I’m going to embrace the beauty in all of God’s creation, including me.
Posted in Love, inspiration, men/women, observations | Leave a Comment »
My mom and dad just let me know that Aspen “went for a walk” on Thursday and never came back. I am heartbroken.
When the Linthicum family moved to an undeveloped piece of ranchland in May of 1997, I was not exactly ecstatic. I had yearned for doggies and horses and room to roam for years, but now that the dream had been achieved it seemed less like a dream and more and more like an indefinite camping trip in the rain. (Which, to be fair to my 13-year-old self, it kind of was. I probably could have been a bit more understanding, but than again, I was 13, which translates pretty easily to “undeniably crazy” in every young woman’s life.)
Enter Aspen, a furry little ball of tri-colored fun.
She was exactly what my bruised almost-adolescent heart needed, and she helped us through the months of camping, or travel-trailering, of building and digging and working. She made it impossible to be workaholics despite there being much work to be done. She was smart and sweet, loyal and playful to a fault.
She was a constant companion for me and anyone else who wanted to hike and explore. She loved coming on my solitary horseback trail rides through endless National Forest. She could keep up no matter how many miles I rode and always wanted to come on any ramble, no matter what the destination.
She “helped” us haul hay and herd cows, kept us company when we weren’t sure what kind of mistakes we were making and was always eager to distract us with fetch or a good tummy-rub.
She is part of so much of my formation as a young woman, of those years of becoming the person I am today. I will miss her smarts, her eagerness, her soft fur for snuggling and her ability to make the world all right. It’s funny to think about the animals that made me who I am, Melody, my Missouri Fox Trotter mare, Jessica, my Saler heifer, Tarshi, our eccentric kitty and Aspen, the rock through every trial and the last of my four-legged friends to say good-bye. Knowing that they are all “gone for a walk” makes me cry, not only because I miss them but because this solidifies my growing up and a certain point of no return. I can’t go back to those tough, beautiful, dusty cowgirl and construction days. I can’t be a kid again who just needed an animal companion to talk to and make the world less lonely.
Although perhaps that’s a misconception on my part. Perhaps all I need is a little love and loyalty like Aspen had, a little thirst for adventure and willingness to take any trail, a complete and utter trust in her master’s wisdom. I didn’t realize that she was saying good-bye when she put her paw on my knee and looked into my eyes last time I was home, but I’m glad I didn’t. I want to remember the lessons she taught me – to bound through snow with delight, to find joy in your family, to always follow your nose and to ride in the back of the pickup on warm fall days, bits of hay ripping free of the bales and blue skies in every direction, soaking up the beauty and joy of everyday moments.
We’ll miss you, Aspen. I hope that heaven has pinecones for fetching, cows for chasing and somebody to pet you until we get there.
Posted in Faith, Great Outdoors, Home, family, horses, inspiration, pictures, the woods | 7 Comments »
So, Adam and I are in the beginning stages of beginning a beginner’s group of married folk at our church. (Because we’re beginners, too, you know. January 2009! Holla!) I get very fired up about marriage, and I’ve written about marriage and relationships and all the mess and beauty of it a lot on Ye Olde Blog. But I have yet to write a definitive “why” for how it gets me fired up.
Since we’re being asked quite often why we want to start this ministry and what it’s about, I figured it was about time to get my thoughts on paper. (Since I am a Christian, and this is my personal assignment to myself for my church, I’m going to mention God. Sorry if you’re squeamish, but I promise I won’t waggle my finger under your nose if you’re not sure about Him. We can still be friends.)
I think I began realizing how needed this ministry was when we got engaged. I was working in the world of Manly Men and got regularly teased (“First marriage? I’ll give it three years.”) or given advice (“You need a pre-nup.” “You’re getting married way too young, are you kidding me?” “Why don’t you just move in together and try it out first?”). I knew that this feedback was largely tongue-in-cheek or genuinely concerned and not meant to be hurtful, but after a while I wanted to scream, “Marriage is a good thing! How have we forgotten this?!”
Which I think is what bothers me most about today’s view of marriage. We have forgotten that it’s a good thing, and we don’t champion it like we should. In her book, “Committed – a skeptic makes peace with marriage” Elizabeth Gilbert refers to the ne’er-do-well heterosexual American couples who don’t care about marriage anymore and just flit around from relationship to relationship being skeptical of the whole institution and avoiding commitment in general. Her solution is to open marriage up to those who do appreciate it and want in – same-sex couples. While I’m not sure that her logic stands, it’s an interesting argument and one that needs to be taken seriously.
Why have so many young heterosexual couples become the ne’er-do-wells that Gilbert refers to? Why has marriage lost its sheen? More importantly, does it even matter?
I hold that it does. I firmly believe that one man and one woman are meant to marry for life, and that as such we are called to be living pictures of Christ and the Church. (The Church meaning collective Christians, not one church or denomination. Just so we’re clear.) Even though the Apostle Paul waxed eloquent on singleness, it’s not the kind of singleness we think of today. Paul’s singleness was a celibate, serious affair – not the “don’t marry, just party” style we roll with now.
I think that marriage gets a bad rap because, deep down,we are upset by how spoiled it has become. We throw zingers back and forth about pre-nups and age and maturity because we are tired of seeing God’s beautiful picture of love and relationship spoiled time and again.
I’m hoping and praying that this ministry can be a small part of changing that.
I want this new venture to be a safe haven for those excited about their marriages and for those who need help getting excited. I want us to compete with the world in the most incredible way – while so many search for love in hook-ups, we should be a warm, welcoming, living and breathing example of how God’s power makes the impossible possible – how two screwed-up, selfish people can become a beacon of hope to a desperate world. We don’t have all the answers, but we have a God who works in spite of our imperfections and gives us grace to move forward in love.
I get excited when I talk about marriage. I know that God has huge plans for this courageous generation of happily married folk who are swimming against the tide of pop culture. I know that we hold an incredible truth in our relationships, and I know that these marriages can change the world.
Our mission statement (as of this moment on my little soap-box) is to champion these marriages, to give hope to those who are trying to figure the whole relationship thing out and embrace the calling that God gives every married couple – to love and honor each other as He does us. That’s not a big deal at all, is it?
Posted in Faith, Love, church, engagement, good question, men/women, ministry, observations, weddings | 5 Comments »
Why, getting moss all over the house, of course. (My roommates are groaning. They remember the days of Dani’s art projects.)
When I talked to you last, I announced my intention to write a book. It’s going quite well, thank you, and I’ve been doing a lot of artsy things, I mean, tanning, I mean, really, a lot of writing. Honestly. One of the artsy things that I definitely did not do instead of write was get moss all over the house whilst making this:
WELCOME, dear ones.
You need more detail don’t you. Don’t you worry.
Oh, you want to see more of my glue-gun prowess! Well, luckily for you, my husband has a camera and I know how to point it at things.
Ok, just one more. If you insist.
This was one of the most fun Saturday mornings I’ve ever had (of course, nothing can compare with a Wednesday Wee Hours Moss-Gluing Session which got my college roommates’ everything covered in green moss for weeks). Maybe someday I’ll set up an Etsy site and sell these babies. Everybody’s writing career needs a distraction, right?
Posted in Creativity, a room of one's own, college, nesting, pictures, writing | 2 Comments »
I’m doing it. I’m writing a book. My goal is to finish the rough draft by September 18th. Hold me to it, my people!
I need you. Yes, you.
Posted in Creativity, choices, inspiration, writing | 3 Comments »
Posted in Puke of the Brain, awkward girl, comfort food | 2 Comments »
Today I did Yoga for the first time, and I learned a few things which I will now impart to you. You’re very welcome.
Also, the Cohens inspired me to sign up in the first place, so it’s obviously awesome.
Posted in awkward girl, inspiration, people watching | 5 Comments »
(This blog post was stolen from Annie Blogs. I have a blog-crush on her… and like a Kindergartner at recess, I show my love by thievery.)
What I’m [reading] = Common Sense, by Thomas Paine. Stop rolling your eyes, you.
What I’m [also reading] = Vogue, Backpacker, World, Horse & Rider, Real Simple…. Summer is the time for boat-loads of magazines, accompanied by frosty beverages and sandy toes.
What I’m [eating] = Crispy Crunchy Chocolate Chip Cookies from Trader Joe’s. Adorable little baby cookies, that are way too easy to eat by the handful. I need to stop.
What I’m [hearing] = BOCA 2010. Love me some A Cappella jives.
What I’m [writing] = A little of this, a little of that. A lot of queries. A few emails. This freelance gig is feeling real, and I am loving it.
What I’m [missing] = My great roommates. Chinese Food Fridays. Oregon summers. Texas food. Making lattes every morning for friendly farmers. Horses and doggies.
What I’m [loving] = These pictures from a great day. Life at the beach. Summer sunshine (finally!). Weddings. Love. Friends. Hope. Purpose.
What I’m [googling] = Writing gigs. I’m obsessed.
What I’m [watching] = The Bachelorette. Top Shot. Stossel. Of course, lots of cooking shows.
What I’m [surprised about] = How my husband is so incredibly patient with me. What a guy I’ve got.
What I’m [wondering] =Could these munchkins BE any cuter?!
Posted in Puke of the Brain, church, college, inspiration, weddings | 4 Comments »
