Wrangler Dani

Since I quit political writing for a living, I find that reading and learning about policy, social science and culture is a lot more entertaining; I’m not constantly on the lookout for an angle or an answer, I don’t need to investigate every corner of an issue. I can just learn about new ideas and trends and then rock out to Brothers Osborne when I make dinner or go to the barn or run errands with my kids.

I like public policy as a hobby, as something I like knowing about because I find it interesting. (Nerd alert!) I find the way that culture shapes politics fascinating, I like the legal details and dense arguments and philosophy of it all.

What I don’t like is when it causes fear – when I sit alone with my thoughts in the house we are so blessed to own, listening to the laughter of the children we prayed for, and suddenly, it’s a liability to love something. Because now I have something to lose, something that is impacted by the decisions of elected and unelected people in power every day. We worry about the impact of rank capitalism, greed, gentrification, the miscarriage of justice, tyrannical laws and those who seem to sidestep the rules even as we worry about their impact.

As I write this I think, this is a dumb thing to write about. We all have political beliefs and we all worry about them, that’s part of being voting, conscientious members of a Constitutional Republic. What is my point? What am I saying – this earth-jolting news – we worry about things that matter, oh and also the sky is blue and if you’re going to put syrup in a latte, why do you even bother with anything but cardamom, all other flavors pale in comparison.

I suppose it’s obvious. But I also get the sense that I am fighting with imaginary oppressors for crusts of bread when a feast has been laid before me and I wonder if I’m alone in this. I want to blame someone when I get scared, when I see injustice, when perhaps what I should do is laugh, roast a chicken, read a book, take a walk, give a little. Love is never a liability. Hope is never foolish. Peace is the gift that “passes understanding” that offers abundance when my hands are empty.

This isn’t really about politics, because there is such a thing as real injustice and oppression and things worth worrying about. But for myself, I’ve let the big Out There worries take away the real Here and Now joys. Rather than focusing my mind on whatever is lovely and good, I’ve given up that valuable real estate to fear and frustration.

I want to ask good questions and listen for good answers; I want to stay curious. I also want to sit back and know when enough is enough, when the time has come to love what’s before me, work at the tasks I’ve been given, offer thanks for daily bread.