After six years of blogging…
…I have a confession to make.
I’m scared.
I don’t like talking about myself, and over the last year or two I’ve gotten increasingly uncomfortable writing about myself. Maybe I’ve just realized how very large the internet really is, or how mean people can honestly be, or the dumb things that I’m prone to say – and sticking my neck out about my life and my little plans feels a little too risky.
So, instead of facing it head-on and giving my fear a solid shake-down, I’ve done the opposite. I’ve slunk away, hiding behind another blog that encourages the loud-mouth, intellectual side and leaves the day-to-day heart stuff behind. I’ve been so careful about what I say that I’ve almost forgotten how to be honest on this blog, honest about my fears and triumphs, my failures and hopes. Don’t get me wrong: I love writing about food and politics, and the wonderful people and businesses who pay me to write their copy are giving me a chance to live a dream and excel in an area I have always loved.
But I want to talk about my little stuff again, if you’ll let me. I want to poke my head out and try to write about my life. I won’t always be deep or meaningful. I won’t always be funny and snarky. But I promise to be honest. I promise to not let the fear of an anonymous commenter get me down, or the worry that my life is too small and silly to interest you.
Because it might be, and I know that. But I got into this business because I love to write, and I’m not going to ignore that impulse just because I’m worried about what I’ll say. Sis years in, and I’ve never regretted putting something on paper, but I have definitely regretted the times I’ve succumbed to my inner editor and clammed up.
So today I’m coming out of the shadows, away from my tendency to gloss over my stories and I’m kicking my nervousness to the curb. Maybe one of these days some big thing will come out of this little life of mine – and when it does, I want to have the courage to share it.
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