Wrangler Dani

So I was really trying to not be political today.  I love politics and debate and have been very geared up lately, but I decided that today I was going to concentrate on how much I love coffee (and fake creamer *sigh*) get some non-political writing done, make my husband a great lunch and try to stay positive, which is hard to do when you keep up with the political goings-on.  But it was not to be.  I’m sorry if politics is totally not your sauce and you really wish I’d get back to American Idol recaps and embarrassing stories and tales of marital bliss.  (Yes, I know that there’s more than one link I could find for marital bliss, but I’ll spare you. I kinda love my husband, OK?)  I promise I will – but in the meantime – give some of these unsavory political ideas a think.  It may not be fun, but paying trillions in pointless debt won’t be a cakewalk for the next several generations, either.

Anyhoodle, back to how I got sucked back into political-talk.  My mom is one of the hardest to get riled, and easiest to like, people I know.  She emailed me today, obviously upset to the point of speechlessness. If you know my mom, you know that this is such an unlikely combination that something really incredible must have happened.  What happened was this:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAAHMDpk7Ik&hl=en&fs=1]

She asked me to “write a response for all of us,” as she’s clearly far too offended, upset and repulsed to do so.  Of course, upon watching this, I felt kind of grossed-out and didn’t really want to reply. After all, when two people are yelling at each other, they both look stupid, no matter who “started it”.

But I guess I’ll say a thing or two, just because I feel as though my friends and I were just called fat and ugly and stupid and lame by bully with a megaphone on the school playground, so I’m cupping my tiny hands around my mouth and doing my best to shout back.

Ahhhhhem: *pats chest with dignity and lowers glasses onto nose*

Dear Ms. Garofalo,

I had no idea that you were such an outspoken Political force, ma’am, although I have enjoyed your role on 24 very much.  By the way, did you know 24 is largely watched by the very Neanderthal individuals who also appeared at Tea Parties across the nation? Rush Limbaugh (gasp!) likes it too, citing it as one of the few shows on television that is still Pro-America, and unflinchingly realistic about the struggles involved in fighting terrorism.  With your uncompromising ideals and unwavering stance on tough issues, I’m surprised that you would take a role on such a low-brow, right-wing-leaning drama, when I’m sure that a talented gal like you could get a job anywhere.  But I know that good-hearted Liberal types like yourself never do anything just for profit, so I’m sure you have a great explanation.

Speaking of being good-hearted, you seem very concerned about “Stockholm Syndrome” amongst blue-collar, Tea-partying, tax-paying folk.  Maybe this Syndrome just hasn’t made it out here to the sticks, but I have to admit that I didn’t quite recall what it was. Luckily for me, my synapses fired correctly just long enough for me to look it up. Are you sure it’s what you meant?  Who, exactly is holding us captive, and to whom are we clinging? I think most Tea Partiers are pretty clear that blame needs to get shared across party lines, and Republicans are well aware that we might’ve snoozed a bit too much the last four years.  No big corporation, organized crime ring, media conglomerate or other captive-taking type entity made any Tea Partiers make hand-written signs on their kitchen tables, bundle up their four kids and call their mom to show up at a Tea Party. They did it because they believe that they have a message to send, and foolishly thought that the First Amendment still applies to them.  I’m really glad that you’re around to set the record straight on that score, or we might have viewers at home actually thinking critically about why their fellow citizens felt a need to turn out in thousands across the country.

Speaking of turning out in thousands, all of these folks came to support TEA PARTIES. As in, heartfelt protest, throw tea into the ocean rather than pay taxes on it, party like it’s 1773, TEA PARTY.  This was one of the great moments in American history, when the people of the United States decided that they’d had enough of dictatorship and wanted freedom.  The planners of the modern-day Tea Parties used this imagery to evoke a sense of patriotism, and hopefully, a feeling of eerie familiarity to our current-day situation.  But you seem pretty certain that it’s not about history or taxes or anything relevant, but just about racism and how much we all hate the President.  Well, I won’t try to attack your assumptions, as you say yourself it only leads to confusion, anger and militant tendencies.  But I guess I just wonder why it matters what color the President is, if he makes decisions that directly affect our future and country negatively.  And let’s not forget a Congress and Senate of all races and ethnicities, who are aiding and abetting the President as he bankrupts our futures. I’m pretty sure that most Tea Partiers are pretty ticked off at them, too.  Then again, they are, as you say, dumb folk, so they have trouble remembering their history and how a democracy is supposed to work, so maybe they are just waving signs about their children’s inheritance being flushed in order to hide their KKK leanings.

You also refer to the Conservative’s “limbic brain”.  Man, your higher intelligence has really got me here.  I have to admit – I had no idea what a limbic brain was, and after a little research, I’m still not sure.  I see Limbic system…. brain…. but no Limbic Brain, and certainly no “Brain Phenomenon of White Supremists and Misguided Rednecks”.  So, it appears to me that besides being a comedienne, actress and activist, you also need a grant for Advanced Neurological Studies on Anyone Who Doesn’t Agree With The Way Things Are Going, because I think you’re really onto something here. Most scientists haven’t caught onto this yet, so you better get on it. You really should call the White House up and ask about it. Tell them it’s Ecologically Awesome and you’ll need some bail-out money, too.  If you use embryonic stem-cells in your research, you’ll probably have an even stronger case.  Really. I’m seeing a post-24 career for you.

I have a lot more I could say. But I’m just a little country girl with a blog that her mom and dad read, (thanks guys!) and I don’t get asked on Keith Olbermann’s show in order to tell you and your buddies that I think you’re mentally and morally deficient, the way that you’ve just done to me.  I really can’t compete with you, Ms. Garofalo, and it makes me sad to think that just like the schoolyard bully with a megaphone, you don’t really care about who I am, or who any of the Tea Partiers are and why they spoke up.  You want us to be racist rednecks, because it forwards your cause, and makes you feel righteous and smart and non-Limbic-brained.

I’m sad that We the People are marginalized by our own country, that our honest attempts at peacefully expressing our views are met with contempt and off-color jokes.  I’m sorry you feel this way about us.  However, I’m not sorry for standing up to this kind of bigotry and speaking my mind.  Calling people who don’t agree with you “racist, teabagging rednecks” is hate speech far worse than anything that happened at those Tea Parties, but we’re used to it by now.  We are not stopping. We love this country with a hard-working, grassroots passion that you could never understand, and we’re going to keep marching, keep praying, keep loving our families and pursuing the American dream, despite your ridicule. It’s how our forefathers did it, and we are surprisingly well-versed on “whatever the History lesson has to be”.

God bless America,

~Dani Nichols