Christmas Tension
This is one of the most sparkly Christmas seasons we’ve had in years. It’s been snowing off and on for weeks, our baby girl is amazed by Christmas lights and shiny bows, and we have every excuse to throw ourselves into merriment with abandon. Life is good, Christmastime is lovely.
But you know what’s really beautiful about Christmastime? That it is lovely even when we don’t feel lovely. Last year I wanted to run away to some distant sun-kissed beach and forget all about this season, but it came anyway, and its story redeemed me when I felt way too weary and failed for redemption. This year I want everything about Christmas – I want the cookie-baking and Santa-seeing and heartfelt hymns – and it’s still redeeming me, reminding me that our savior was born into a dirty, poetic and hurting world, that he is present whether I am in joy or pain, whether my Christmas feels full to bursting or quietly somber.
It’s pleasant to think about the Baby Jesus, particularly when I have a baby of my own to marvel at. But isn’t it wonderful that he is not actually the perennial infant we celebrate? He doesn’t actually need to “sleep in heavenly peace” or remain “tender and mild”, wrapped adorably in his mother’s arms, clean and sweet-smelling and cooing softly.
No, this is the Mighty God. Mighty to save, to redeem, to give hope and light. The miracle of his birth is breathtaking, but maybe it’s more amazing that we remain so comfortable with his smallness, with sweet lullabies and adorable manger scenes. We’ve seen him at work and yet we still want to remember him as a baby boy.
This Christmas, I am embracing sparkle and celebration. But I am also remembering that this baby Jesus is our Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace. This is the God who was big enough for me when I thought my heart would break under the weight of its own longing and who is big enough now that my heart might burst with gratitude.
This is the beauty of Christmas, the tension of now and not yet. We are still becoming who God has made us to be, even as we walk hopefully into our purpose. We are redeemed fully now and more redeemed every day. We are celebrating a child and worshiping an almighty King of Kings. Merry Christmas to you, my friends. May the tension and divine mystery of this time be beautiful, heartbreaking and breathtaking to all of us this year.