Wrangler Dani

Jake and Vienna are out of control. In case you’re not a girl between the ages of 18 and 40, or were purposefully excluding yourself from TeeVee shenanigans last year, Jake was ABC’s Bachelor last season, and he picked a slutty girl, which nearly everybody thought was going to be a bad idea.

Surprise, surprise, romances built on eight weeks in TeeVee Land don’t last, and Jake and Vienna are Splitsville. (You can watch the interview here, but I would suggest that you don’t. It’s ugly.)

Now that we’re all caught up, let me fill you in on why I’m all hot under the collar and blogging about this, which is admittedly sort of dumb.

I’ll admit it. I’ve been watching The Bachelorette this season, and nearly every time Ali gets interviewed, she glowingly tells the camera, the dudes, and anybody else who will listen, “I’m looking for a feeling.” (Note: Not character, personality, religion, hobbies or any other thing that would make ANY kind of rational sense. Oh no. Feelings, y’all. That’s all you need.)  (Feelings are great, I know. But let’s not base our lives on them, shall we? I know that my life, for one, would be a wreck if I did.) (Sorry for all the parenthesis.) She’s constantly expecting her relationships to shoot forward into marriage-talk after two paid-for-by-ABC fantasy dates, and regularly talks about how traveling/helicopter flying/eating new food makes relationships strong.

I got news, babe. When you leave the set, and you have to DRIVE YOURSELF to a cheap apartment in Milwaukee and somebody has to take out the trash, that’s when we see if your relationship is worth anything.

So there’s that. I think anybody with a pin-sized amount of common sense can see that finding love on a reality TV show might not be the best plan for making the whole “Til Death Do Us Part” thing work. But it still bothers me, because even though we KNOW that it can’t work, and we know that this is ridiculous, I think that our expectations and ideas still get tainted by it. For instance, I was shocked at the number of women who have turned anti-Jake since watching the interview.

Granted, he knew what he was getting into. He followed her around like a lost puppy and admitted that she was “blunt and headstrong” (i.e. bitchy and selfish) but was too busy thinking with Jake Jr. to notice. So it’s really his own fault for not choosing wisely and not picking someone who maybe wasn’t a wannabe Hooters model. But still – girls – he’s a DUDE. Dudes do not talk about their feelings for hours. Dudes do not do well with lack of respect. Dudes can’t handle interruptions or hysterics well, and they often struggle for the right words. If a chick bowls over a dude with her words over and over, I can’t really blame him for finally using some force, just to try to be heard.

Don’t get me wrong – self-control has to get involved, and I would never condone a guy hitting or being violent towards a girl just because he’s frustrated… but I’m just saying that I get it. As far as I know he never acted violently towards her, despite the fact that I was about to punch her for him, and I only saw 30 minutes of it on the Tube.

I’m just so sad when I see guys getting trampled like this. Everybody’s all over Jake for “not caring” about Vienna, and Ali has to have all of her guys be super sensitive and mushy and talk about Big Serious Things every five minutes. THEY’RE DUDES. They still laugh at America’s Funniest Home Videos. They would rather you ask for help than do it alone, because they like to use their strength to aid their lady. They have feelings, but they don’t have to hash them out every 10 minutes like us girls do… HALLELUJAH.

I could rant about this for days, but I think what upsets me most is how culture is overwhelming us. Jake and Vienna are both ridiculous, granted. The Bachelorette is the kind of show you watch to laugh about with your girlfriends, I know. But watching stuff like this makes me want to high-five every married couple I know, and hug all of my single friends who are wisely waiting for the right person, instead of rushing into infatuation-fueled craziness.

Oh, you guys. When are our principles of marriage and redemption and serving each other going to finally be the louder voice? What do we say to a world that watches such a train-wreck for entertainment, without a hint of sadness for the Life that so many people miss?