Wrangler Dani

There are two things about me that you should know. Number one: I have strong opinions. Number two: I think I’m funny.

These two traits lead me to vomit my inner brain-bangs quite frequently, which can, in turn, lead me to say things I may not ACTUALLY sincerely believe, just because I think it’s either funny, provocative, or my brain is simply puking out my mouth and I really have no good reason for talking.

I’ve been realizing lately that I probably need to put a lid on that, just a smidge. When I talk, am I talking because I think I’m OH-SO-WITTY and hilarious and everyone needs to hear my opinion on everything… or am I saying something that I actually believe, that really matters, that is not going to hurt someone or cause them to think of me in a way that isn’t actually true.

Because that’s the catch, isn’t it? In order for me to live up to my many and varied opinions, I have to be careful that others see me fully, not the me who runs my mouth. I want to be the kind of friend who people know without a doubt will never tell their secrets, the kind of confidante who gives wise counsel and loving encouragement, the kind of wife who listens, the kind of person who is known as a thinker, someone who does not easily get angry, does not say foolish things and does not rush to judgment.

I’m reminded that jokes are not as important as people, that every single living person has a story to tell and I would do well to listen and learn. I’m not losing the funny or the opinions (I think I would have to walk around with a sock in my mouth) but I am learning to consider before I speak, to choose my words more carefully and to approach all people with love before judgment. (I love me some critical thinking skillz, but they have to come slathered in good-will, is all I’m saying. Zingers with a smile! JK! Crap, I’ve already failed.)

Joe Fox: Do you ever feel you’ve become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora’s box of all the secret, hateful parts – your arrogance, your spite, your condescension – has sprung open? Someone upsets you and instead of smiling and walking away, you zing them? “Hello, it’s Mr Nasty.” I’m sure you have no idea what I’m talking about.
Kathleen Kelly:  No, I know exactly what you mean, and I’m completely jealous. What happens to me when I’m provoked is that I get tongue-tied and my mind goes blank. Then I spend all night tossing and turning trying to figure out what I should have said. What should I have said, for example, to a bottom dweller who recently belittled my existence?
Kathleen Kelly: Nothing. Even now, days later, I can’t figure it out.
Joe Fox: Wouldn’t it be wonderful if I could pass all my zingers to you? And then I would never behave badly and you could behave badly all the time, and we’d both be happy. But then, on the other hand, I must warn you that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows.