Wrangler Dani

Back when I moved in to our humble abode, we longed for a patio table. Alas and alack, they are all far too much money for a newly-married couple whose Wifely character has embarked on a financially futile venture like teaching horsey lessons and writing miscellaneous observations for a living. So we got by with a friend”s old dining room table, a couple of very decrepit chairs, replaced by some new, free chairs from a kind-hearted volunteer at said Wifey’s non-lucrative employment, and a very ginormous hammock, bequeathed to us by Wifey’s folks, who were also very relieved to not have to deal with said behemoth.

Behold before:

Please note the decrepit chairs on the right-hand side. Note also the ADORABLE yellow cushions which just happen to be my new favorite things. Adam would also like to note that the grill is uncovered, proof-positive that he cooks regularly.

So, anyhoodle. Our patio might be the best part of our house, despite being desperately ramshackle, our poor little ex-dining room table having a sad slouch from all the water that ran off of it this year. But, as Providence would have it, I was sunning myself with Miss Mandy last weekend when she noticed that a friend from church was selling their patio furniture on Facebook. BEAUTIFUL, BIG furniture for $150! I called Adam. She called dibs for us too, just to be sure.

But you know how Facebook can be warm and lovely and full of Birthday wishes for people whom you’ve said Hi to once in the last 5 years? You know also how it can be a passive/aggressive hive of scum and villainy where political opinions rage and you realize you didn’t get invited to something that Everybody Else did? Well. Imagine the latter in a bidding war over a really nice and underpriced patio set. And GUESS WHO WON. *does happy dance*

So, I bring you the homeward flight of our hard-won purchase:

Beverly Hillbillies, y’all. I actually really thought that we would never make it home in our TWO CARS, one of which is, actually, a truck. It was rather monstrous.

We had to stop halfway and adjust for flappage of one of the chairs against Rocky’s cab. Adam, luckily, is adept with tie-downs. I was no help, but just laughed an took pictures with my terrible camera-phone.

Self-Portrait. I’m mostly excited that I have OTTOMANS in my ride. OTTOMANS! FOR OUTSIDE USE! This is getting extravagant, people.

Just in case you needed a close-up of the tie-down work.

Adam’s Dad and Grandad were in the moving business… can you tell? This kind of talent isn’t taught, my friends.

One more. BOW BEFORE THE TIE-DOWN MASTER.

So… I couldn’t help carry up the table. I’m a girl, you know, and not as strong as my Hubs thinks I am. I convinced him to call Rick, who in return for helping us I promised a delectable sandwich. I’m either a great cook or Adam sounds very threatening on the phone, because he agreed.

After making the fellas huff and puff up the stairs, we realized we had to take the table apart to get it through our house. Rick is thrilled.

“No reward is worth this!”

I was pretty sure that we’d have to give up about here. But my Hubs loves a good challenge!

Rick, however, saw himself and the table making our downstairs neighbor’s aquaintance.

When a horse gets worked up or going too fast, you say, “eeeasy” all slow and calm-like. I totally said that to the boys as I took this pic. Multi-tasking, you know.

Rick still has to work for his sandwich.

TA-DA!!!!!!!! This was taken on a cloudy day, but you get the picture. (Ba-dum-ching!) It’s GLORIOUS, is it not?

(As a side-note, I would like to observe that we spent more on this set than an ANY OTHER article of furniture in our house. Told you our patio was awesome.)