Wrangler Dani

I like to tell you guys how dumb I am stories, because A) it’s funnier than How Smart I Am stories and B) nobody would believe the How Smart I Am stories anyway, let’s be honest.

So, today, I had a gajillion meetings and what-not, but I am never near a TJ Maxx that I do not find myself drawn into it like a bargain-priced, oh-so-stylish tractor beam, so I succumbed and wandered in. A tablecloth! Candles! Pruning shears! Man oh man I am so homey and house-wifey and generally prepared for Spring, in such a budget-friendly way. Lordy, am I ever proud of myself.

Except for when I got home and realized that I bought TWO sets of pruning shears. That’s right, ladies and gents, I picked one up and said to myself, “Self, this is a great purchase. I have multiple suffering plants on my balcony that need pruning. What a bargain. I’ll take it.” THEN, MERE MOMENTS LATER, I picked up another set and thought, “Oh right! I totally have plants that need to be pruned! Great! I’ll buy these!”

To top it all off, I managed to check out and get home before I realized that I have two sets of pruning shears, and, apparently, a brain the size of a pea.

BUT MY PLANTS WILL BE WELL-GROOMED, goshdarnit.