Wrangler Dani

I got the idea for this week-long theme from friend. Every day this week I am going to take on a dwarf-like persona and explain what makes me that way. Or I might just use it to create an interesting title and then write about something completely unrelated. But I will try to keep up with the dwarf theme anyway, because who doesn’t want to emulate short men with beards and great singing voices? Plus, they’re kind-hearted miners, which seems to be a rare thing in these troubled times.

I know I should have started this on Monday, but I was preoccupied, so my week is off. This has made me Dopey.
(Editor’s note: We know that Dopey was a pretty carefree fellow, but we are using Dopey in the “somewhat detached and out of it” context.)

Other things that make me Dopey are:

• Too much of a good thing, such as cookies, pizza, or wine.
• Late nights – you never know whether I’ll be stupidly sleepy, falling-over style, or so tired that I lose the filter and tell you things you shouldn’t know, but you will be entertained.
• Too much TV. My eyes glaze over after a few hours – especially with stuff like talk or game shows. Stop clapping already and go outside, audiences.
• Not being heard. If you talk over me, I will eventually give up and just stare at you with a mixture of dopeyness and distaste.
• No caffeine.
• Wearing glasses instead of contacts. When I wear glasses, I feel a lot dumber and sleepier. Maybe it’s the fuzzy people around my peripheral vision or the spots that I can never seem to wipe off.
• MySpace. Facebook I can understand, but MySpace? It’s just so skanky and glitzy. Every time I go to someone’s page they have some loud new song or sparkly teddy bear waving at me in a creepy animated way. No likey sensory overload.
• Long lines.
• Not having a plan. It’s a paralyzing feeling for someone with several lists, five calendars and a mental note of every “to-do”. Sometimes it’s good for me, though. I’m learning.
• A dirty face. I love washing my face, and have been known to give up on make-up halfway through the day just to feel clean. This can go for my hair too, although I’m less likely to try to tackle that in the office sink. 🙂

That’s all that Dopey can handle for right now… he needs another Diet Coke.