What I found in my hubby’s car. A list.
A note to all of my single friends: When you get married, after he buys you diamonds and you get new stuff from Crate and Barrel, you realize that he is still a BOY, as in, he leaves a lot of Boy Stuff laying around and you will probably need to clean it up yourself if you don’t like it. See, Boy Clean and Girl Clean are two very different concepts, and there are days when you will thank your lucky stars that he is so cute in other ways (also, that he bought you diamonds) or else you might club him over the head with one of his own errant golf shoes.
Also, you should always publish your findings on the Internet to amuse yourself and other long-suffering wives. Never one to shrink from my own advice, here is the amazing list of things that I found in Adam’s car while cleaning it out today.
- No fewer than THREE half-eaten bags of sunflower seeds, flavored like pickles and hot sauce and other classy things.
- 20 (yes, I counted) empty water bottles. At least we know the fella is hydrated.
- Innumerable fast-food straw wrappers
- Innumerable fast-food receipts, just in case you needed to know what else was consumed, along with the straw-requiring drink.
- A pair of golf shoes.
- A journal.
- Several CDs, untitled blank DVDs and CD cases. I have never seen these used in the car and have no idea why they were there. Maybe it’s just a throwback thing?
- A golf pencil.
- A basketball pump.
- Three golf balls.
- A baseball. (You never know when a game of catch might break out!)
- A lobster-measuring thingy. (You also never know when you might catch a lobster and need to be sure it’s legal.)
- A rain jacket.
- A pair of slacks in a bag that have been intended for return for roughly four months.
- Change.
- Two handgun cartridges.
- SO MANY MAPS. An road-atlas, several maps from national parks/hotel lobbies, AAA maps, little tiny maps, big huge maps. We have no right to EVER be lost.
I didn’t go into the glove-box, so Lord knows what good stuff I missed there. Are you equally fascinated with this motley assortment? I’m starting to feel like I need to commandeer his car more often, just to keep all this Boy Stuff contained.
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