Wrangler Dani

About a third of my work week is spent outside with the handsome steeds and adorable kidlets, the other third is spent driving about Ye Olde Crowded Freeways, and the last third is spent hunched over my Lappy in a constant pursuit of a bad back and poor eyesight. All that to say, since I spend a lot of time driving, and a lot of time outside, and a lot of time wrecking my vision, sunglasses are kinda important.

However. I cannot buy good sunglasses. More than $10 sunglasses are completely wasted on me, because a) I don’t get the appeal of spendy shades and b) I lose stuff. Regularly.

The most expensive shades I ever bought were these:

And now I don’t know where they are. The case, it makes itself.

So, anyhoodle – on Saturday, I had a billion things to do. First off, I was “on-call” for a web-editing gig, plus I had a baby shower to attend and I was supposed to be helping at church that evening. No big, right? I have 10 arms, so why should I ever say no?

I was loafing about on Saturday morning when Adam reminded me that the shower started in five minutes. We live 15 minutes away. OMG TIME TO PANIC! I tend to run late these days. It’s Adam’s fault. Obviously. Anyhoodle, I could NOT find my sunglasses. In my despair I threw things around before realizing I was really late and needed to squint my way up to the shower. I flounced out of the house, thoroughly perturbed at myself.

That evening, it was the same deal – I rushed out of work and off to church, but NO SUNGLASSES were to be found. These were my cute ones! I bought them for $5 at Wal-Mart and they look like fakey Ray-Bans! They’re all the rage! I was downtrodden.

So, yesterday, I had an appointment with Fear Itself my tax guy, and I thought wisely, “I cannot drive 30 miles with no sunglasses. My eyes go through enough! Dani, hit up Wal-Mart. $5. You can do it.” So I did. And I was so proud of myself! I got all the essentials: $5 sunglasses, two bags of Cheetos and two bottles of bathroom cleaner for less than $15 and 8 minutes flat.

I wore my new $5 shades with the tags still on them as I drove to the gym. No time like the present. Sweat like whoa. Pump iron. Embrace today. I was feeling FINE and oh-so-proud of myself for my efficient shopping spree. When I parked at the gym, I reached for my jacket to cover my purse in the  backseat, as one can never be too careful in parking lots these days, doncha know. Something hard fell out of my jacket pocket. It was my faux Ray-Bans. My $5 beloveds. My plastic pieces of eye-saving joy.

I am so dumb.

Now at least I have two pairs, which will come in handy, when I break lose dismember forget about the ones I have on my head.