Wrangler Dani

(This blog is directed at single people whom I dearly love. To those who stay in touch, THANK YOU. You have no idea how much your support and friendship has meant.)

I know that I talk a lot on this blog about being in love with my husband. I am in love with my husband. Isn’t that a good thing, seeing as how we’ve agreed to do this “Til Death Do Us Part” she-bang?  Despite all that, I have been a little surprised by something – it’s heartening that Adam and I like hanging out with each other, because nobody else calls us anymore.  Our friends are either scared off by the Mr. and Mrs., think we suddenly grew a new crop of “post-wedding friends”, or think we are too busy with, um, y’know to hang out.

Just FYI, none of that is true.

I know that it’s tough for you to believe this, but I do remember what its like to be single. All the marital bliss in the world can’t erase the memories of the weird awkward dates with people you knew you didn’t really like, the sexual tensions in a group of “friends” and the attempts to pretend like you don’t care and you love hanging out with a bunch of platonic guys and girls ALL THE TIME.  And honestly, those are fun times.  We meet awesome people at late nights at In-N-Out, and the random groups that split off from such encounters can become your best friends.

So I’m definitely not discounting the single experience.  I actually think it’s a really cool, fun time in everybody’s life.  However, too often, single people assume that once you’re married, your every need is instantly met.  You need nothing but the sweet scent of your beloved and the world spins perfectly and you never need to vent to girlfriends or go shoe-shopping because you have everything you’d ever need in that wonderful man you share a home with.  But I’m here to tell you. My husband is the most amazing person I know, but I still NEED my girls.

It hurts when I don’t get invited to hang with the girls because “now I’m married”. It hurts when I see my friends’ lives via Facebook and I feel distant from people with whom I once “did life”.  I’m still the same person I was four months ago, only now with two rings on my left hand and a new last name.  I still need your friendship and support and would love to give you mine as well.  I’m not trying to compete with you, to rub my happiness in your face or to be jealous of your freedom.  I remember laughter and tears with you, good times and hard times, and thinking that we’d be friends for a long time.  Maybe it’s just too tough to be friends with married people. Maybe I don’t get it.  Maybe I need to just wait for my single friends to get married so we can all hang out.

But honestly, guys.  I need my girlfriends. I need your love, your laughter, your honesty, your willingness to go get frozen yogurt at any time, day or night.  I miss you.